At the risk of giving away the climax of what I am going to say – let me start by saying that last night was tough. I broke down. It came from no where and I started crying. Hysterically.
Have you had a time where it feels like things are piling up, nothing seems to go right, the to do list is getting out of control and you seem to be adding more to it than checking off. I’ve been so overwhelmed with everything lately – just feeling that work is piling up, I haven’t been able to post to the blog which affects me a lot because it so much a part of my life and therapeutic to me when I write – so not being able to post makes stresses me out. And then the usual stuff – daily routine, kid, home, social stuff, ordering/shopping stuff for the home… all that.
And trust me – I know the whole break down what needs to be done thing. Manage time. Prioritize. One thing at a time. Delegate. But then some times it feels like a dam crashing and you are drowning. That’s what happened.
My mental checklist was exploding. I turned on my coffee machine for my cappuccino which you know is my version of self-care – I forgot to keep the coffee mug in the machine, the coffee came out creating a mess and seeping inside the machine and that’s what triggered it. I broke down!
Why am I sharing this.
- not to get sympathy. Not at all. Ugh. Major turn off for me anyway
- Not to show how busy I am. Nope. Not delusional. I know that we all have million things on our plate
Because sometimes I get messages asking how I do it all. The truth is I don’t. Or I see people commenting “goals” on accounts. None of that is the whole picture. The social media life is such a curated version of a snapshot of our lives. My goal is to keep it real here. And the reality is we all feel drowned, overwhelmed at times. And it is okay to cry it out. okay to take a break and start again. Okay to go to bed early and get some rest. Okay to soak in the tub, put on a mask, sit down and drink your coffee. Okay to do whatever fills your cup again before you can pour from it.
Anyways I cried my eyes out. I went to bed right away. The next morning nothing miraculously changed. There weren’t any elves who magically completed everything on my list. My list is still the same. I still have a lot of work to do. But atleast my outburst, the sleep helped. What is important is admitting that I was drowning. The self-inflicted pressure to keep going and keep rocking at everything does no one any good. admitting things are falling through the cracks and you need to take a break is the right start.
And as for a happy ending to this post – My husband made me coffee after I created that big mess. Also cleaned up the machine. And I am here with my coffee again, with my favorite under-eye masks that seriously feel like they are soaking away the stress from my under-eyes and I am writing this post which actually makes me feel much-much better =)) xx Neha
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